Part 3 Establishing Healthy Boundaries

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Transcript

WEBVTT
 
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 yeah, they're upset about it.
 
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 But see, the thing is,
 
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 when you ask for forgiveness,
 
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 you've done your part.
 
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 Now, if they hold it for a year,
 
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 for a week, a year, that's on them.
 
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 You know, you understand.
 
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 Now you recognize and you see a distance,
 
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 but you've done your part
 
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 and you've asked for forgiveness.
 
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 You can't force them to forgive you.
 
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 Just give them their time.
 
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 Give them their space.
 
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 Stay your distance.
 
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 And let them be.
 
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 Let them be.
 
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 Did you do right by me?
 
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 Yes.
 
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 Personal boundaries.
 
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 Now, the last thing, number five,
 
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 if your boundaries are established,
 
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 if boundaries are not established,
 
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 that's personal.
 
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 We're going to talk about personal now.
 
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 If boundaries,
 
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 personal boundaries are not established,
 
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 if they're not established,
 
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 proceed with caution.
 
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 If you don't know the
 
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 individual boundaries,
 
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 these are personal boundaries.
 
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 If you don't know the
 
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 individual boundaries,
 
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 if you don't know that
 
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 they've set any of them,
 
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 proceed with caution.
 
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 So that's in the area of personal.
 
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 So you are an individual.
 
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 You created your healthy boundaries.
 
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 Now,
 
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 when you come across those that do not
 
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 have boundaries,
 
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 definitely proceed with caution.
 
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 You don't know what you may be up against.
 
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 If they just allow you to do
 
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 anything and everything...
 
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 There may be an issue there.
 
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 They may not have any boundaries.
 
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 Yeah.
 
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 Maybe swimming in uncharted waters.
 
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 Swim at your own risk.
 
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 Put it that way.
 
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 Cross at your own demise or peril.
 
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 It's on you.
 
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 When we go to these personal
 
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 boundaries that my husband
 
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 was just talking about,
 
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 it's very important that you
 
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 have some have some
 
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 boundaries set up some
 
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 boundaries in your life and
 
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 there's a difference
 
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 between standards and
 
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 boundaries standards you
 
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 know you have standards but
 
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 boundaries are different
 
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 boundaries are things you
 
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 intentionally set up around
 
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 your life to keep you from
 
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 doing or having done to you
 
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 things that you don't want
 
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 done so have some have some
 
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 boundaries and set them up
 
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 especially for you who are dating um
 
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 in this day and age.
 
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 Have some boundaries.
 
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 Yes, Lord.
 
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 Have some boundaries.
 
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 Don't give in to the booty calls.
 
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 That's so disrespectful.
 
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 Just make sure that you have
 
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 some boundaries.
 
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 Some healthy boundaries.
 
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 And demand that they respect them.
 
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 Don't just allow anyone to
 
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 run over you in a relationship.
 
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 or outside of a relationship
 
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 as a coworker or a friend,
 
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 don't allow individuals to
 
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 treat you any kind of way.
 
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 Because if you don't have any boundaries,
 
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 people are going to set them up for you.
 
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 And you may not like the
 
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 boundaries that people set up for you.
 
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 So you've got to make a
 
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 decision to have your own
 
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 boundaries before you go
 
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 into any relationship.
 
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 And the second thing in the personal area,
 
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 if you have boundaries,
 
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 Share them with any potential friends,
 
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 mates, or family.
 
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 Share your boundaries with
 
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 the people who you want to
 
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 develop a relationship with.
 
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 And it's a good way to find
 
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 out if that person is going
 
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 to be able to rock with you, as they say,
 
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 or run with you or hang with you.
 
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 If you share your boundaries
 
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 with them and they respect
 
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 them and they can handle them,
 
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 you got a pretty good friend.
 
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 But if you share your
 
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 boundaries with someone and they're like,
 
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 oh, we don't need to do all that.
 
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 You don't need that boundary.
 
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 You can move on to the next one,
 
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 on to the next one, on to the next one,
 
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 until you get someone who's
 
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 gonna respect your boundaries.
 
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 Now, the third thing,
 
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 don't move or alter your
 
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 boundaries to fit in any one circle.
 
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 In other words, they call it compromising.
 
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 Don't compromise your boundaries.
 
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 Don't compromise your standard.
 
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 Don't compromise who you really are,
 
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 how God made you, how he created you.
 
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 Don't compromise that to fit
 
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 into someone else's
 
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 preconceived boundaries or
 
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 set up boundaries that
 
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 they've set up that you're
 
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 not even accustomed to or
 
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 you don't even like them.
 
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 You don't like them or their boundaries,
 
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 but you try to adjust to
 
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 fit into that circle.
 
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 Don't do that.
 
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 It's not healthy.
 
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 No, not healthy at all.
 
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 Fitting into that clique that, you know,
 
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 you don't really agree with
 
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 what they're doing,
 
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 but you just want to be, have friends.
 
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 You just want to be close to them.
 
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 And then you end up in jail
 
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 somewhere because, you know.
 
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 Dang.
 
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 Yeah.
 
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 we're in jail.
 
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 It can happen that way.
 
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 You're in the wrong place at
 
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 the wrong time and ain't
 
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 got no boundaries set up.
 
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 Now you're in jail.
 
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 Hello.
 
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 But recognize that you are
 
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 beautifully and wonderfully
 
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 made in the image of God.
 
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 You don't have to change for
 
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 anyone or any relationship.
 
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 Be you.
 
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 Enjoy life the way God
 
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 created you to enjoy life.
 
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 Don't try to fit into
 
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 cliques and circles that
 
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 don't agree with the
 
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 boundaries that God has
 
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 given you for your life.
 
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 And then when you do that,
 
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 he'll send the individuals
 
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 that need to be
 
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 in your life and that will
 
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 respect your boundaries.
 
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 So again,
 
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 we have thoroughly enjoyed this
 
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 opportunity to come before
 
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 you and talk about
 
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 establishing healthy boundaries.
 
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 Stay tuned